Mothering Yourself For A New Routine

I was asked to do a write up about what helps me to keep a consistent routine regarding my morning spiritual and mental health practice. I believe it comes down to "mothering" myself, which has been discussed in our group for some time now. In fact it was Mel that brought this phrase to our group. When you look up what it means to "mother" this is what you will find, "to mother is to be caring, protective, kind, and to nurture", or at least this is what came up from Google. Like many of you I have struggled with the same mental battles, the same desires to stick to routines, and the guilt that comes with not being able to stick to the routine that you desire so badly. I have realized that this mindset has robbed me. Being a perfectionist used to rob me of ever starting or if I started and didn't get it just right out of the gate I would quit and think there is a better way, I just have to find it. What I've realized is that the right way is to just try. This is so simple and this sounds so silly, but Nike's slogan "Just Do It" was true. Everyday we get to make a decision on what is important to us, and guess what, we get this choice everyday and its okay to get it wrong some days or maybe even make a different decision based on the circumstances of the day. This is my "mothering" advice to myself. This is the kind part of "mothering". Next I have realized that I have to teach myself how to be protective of my time in all areas but especially where God is concerned. I deeply desire a closer relationship to God and the only way to get that is to make our time together sacred, this does not mean I don't sleep late some days. To nurture means to care for and encourage growth, I can't think of any thing more "motherly" than nurturing yourself and your spiritual path. This is what I do when I get up and have my time for God and myself. This part is two-fold because I know one day Eleanor will be watching me and where I get my strength from and I want her to see that I ground myself in Jesus and his teachings (motivation). I realize I cannot choose her spiritual path for her but I want her to see the peace I get out of this routine of putting God first. All of this being said, the caring part of "mothering" comes in when I wake up at 5:30 a.m. go feed the cats and just decide to go back to sleep, because my body needed it and I make a choice not to feel guilt. My "mothering' self is caring and loving to me at these times she says, "you need the rest you will do better next time". Instead of the old record of, "this is pointless", "you never can do anything you set out to do". I find that if you can start your routine and give yourself a break on the days you don't meet your own expectations you will find the joy in what you are doing and the doing one day just becomes being. You can apply this to anything you desire to put as a top priority in your life. I have some quick bullet points below, let me know if this helps.

• Keep showing up or "Just Do It" (my minister recently talked about even when your not sure you know all the answer's to your spiritual walk you just keep showing up)

• I've never been a snooze person-DO NOT set a snooze alarm. That is telling yourself you are going to sleep an extra 15 minutes

• Realize that everyone is different and this may not be the time in your life you can wake up early but you may be able to carve out time during the day for your spiritual/wellness routine

• Give yourself a break and encouragement when you don't/can't show up.

• Get your animals on an early morning routine. This has always helped me.

• Decide what is your priority and at what time. I would love to be able to put art, writing, family, and even this group all in the front of the line but there can only be one thing at any given time and for me early in the morning has to be God's time because when my family is awake, they are priority. As for the other things that I love to do I have to value that time, even if it is small, I know that this is temporary. One day Eleanor will be grown up and I won't care about how I did not get to enhance my skills only that I took the time to see her and deepen not only our family's relationship, my friendships, but my relationship with God. That is what this time is for, for me.

• Decide who/what your time is for? This is your motivation. My main motivation is for me to understand me and God in me. The driving force is my family and the fact that the more I "show up" the more I realize God loves us so much that at this point this is the least I can do to show God my appreciation for that love.